10 Ways To Tell You’re A N00b

Posted on September 9, 2008. Filed under: advice | Tags: , , , |

Being new to Kaneva can be rough.  You have little to no friends, and no-one has yet to rave you.  Your apartment is bare, and your clothing is hideous.  However, it doesn’t have to be rough.  If you’re new to Kaneva and you’ve made it to this blog already… congratulations! You’ve taken a big step to getting insight into the Kaneva community.

One of the best ways to make friends in Kaneva, or “K” as most people call it is to not act like a n00b.  I know, I know, you’re new, you can’t help but act that way.  Well, below I’ve listed some ways that us veterans can tell that you’re new.

1. You’re in Jeans and the Kaneva T-shirt

One of the first things you should do (after the tutorial) in game is go straight to the mall… and run…don’t walk… run to the nearest clothing store and buy some new digs.  Once you don you’re new disguise it will be a lot harder to pick you out as a newb.

2. You just flat out tell everyone

Don’t blow your cover.  So what, you’re new… you don’t have to announce it to the world.  In fact it’s easier to pick out someone who is new that yells “I’m new here I don’t know what I’m doing” than someone in the newb clothes because you don’t even have to search them out… it’s right there for you in the chat box.

3.  You ask questions about things covered in the tutorial

The opening tutorial is there for a reason.  That reason is – people get sick of answering the same questions over and over again.  You might have only asked one question to one person, but the person you are asking might have been asked that exact same question by 50 other people and unfortunately you are just the last straw.  Kaneva took time to create an easy way for you to learn about the game, take advantage of it!

4. Looking for an instant boyfriend or girlfriend

Walking into the mall and saying “who wants a gf” or “anyone looking for a bf press 1234” will just get you ridiculed.  Mostly because it’s annoying, and slightly insulting to people who have worked hard to create a great relationship in-game already.

5. “Why Your Name Blue”

It’s blue because they are a moderator (adviser) – and no, you can’t change your name to be blue unless you become an adviser.  BTW – if an adviser asks you to stop doing something.  STOP DOING IT!  Don’t argue right there in public, it will just get you kicked.  If you have a questions about why they asked you to stop, send them a private message by right clicking on them and clicking “private message”.

6. Am I Hot?

Now if you really thought that you were ugly, would you ask this question.  Guess what, doesn’t matter how attractive you are.  If you ask this question, people WILL make fun of you.  In my opinion, this is an open invitation to have someone make fun of you.  Kaneva is a nice place with a lot of friendly people, but even nice people have to poke fun sometimes, and saying “If you think I’m hot press 5678” will just make you fodder.  At best, you will just be ignored.

7. Can you have sex/get naked/watch a donkey show?

Ok, so maybe I added the last one.  Point being, the answer to this question is technically “no”.  Asking this questions will let everyone know you are new and falls into the same vein as #2.  Yes, ‘adult” things do happen on Kaneva.  But if you are looking for that sort of thing, you may want to check out Red Light Center and not show your noobness on Kaneva.

8.  LOCKING THE CAPS

SEEING WORDS THAT LOOK LIKE THIS ALL OVER THE CHAT BOX IS ANNOYING, IT IS CONSIDERED YELLING AND COMES OFF AS VERY AGGRESSIVE.  EVEN IF YOU ARE SAYING “I LOVE UNICORNS” IT STILL COMES OFF AS INCREDIBLY ANGRY OR INCREDIBLY STUPID AND YOU SHOULDN’T WANT TO BE KNOWN FOR EITHER ONE OF THOSE THINGS.  DON’T TYPE IN ALL CAPS!

9.  Can I Have Credits/Rewards?

I think this question probably makes people the angriest.  If you’re new, chances are you have very little credits or rewards.  Everyone else in the game started out that way also, and they had to work hard or pay money for what they’ve earned.  They’re not going to easily give up what they have.  Think of it this way – If I walked up to you on the street and said “Hey can I have some money” you would either tell me to buzz off or you would call the police.  Get the point?

10.  You decide

Ok so I know this post was titled 10 Ways To Tell You’re A N00b, and I have only listed 9 so far.  That’s because I wanted to open up this last point to the Kaneva veterans.  In the comments below, please explain the 1 thing that tips you off that someone is a newb.

Now, I’m not saying being new is a bad thing.  Everyone is new at somepoint.  For me, that point was two years ago… so I’ve had my share of experience in helping people that are new.  Again, if you’re new… don’t be afraid to go out there and make new friends and Kaneva will be one of the best online experiences you have ever had.

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